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As summer finally arrived here in Britain, I took the opportunity to do some DIY outside in my very overlooked garden. But why do it fully clothed when you can do it topless? I’m so sorry that you can’t hear me over the sawing! I didn’t want to shout because as much as I’m happy being topless in my garden, I don’t exactly want to be heard by all my neighbours! My wood working face is far from the orgasm face you’re all so used to seeing!

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